ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES--OR SO THEY SAY

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Air Head Fired

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Include your Children when Baking Cookies